With Hartlepool firmly on the map, even for Dominic Raab, The North is now rejoining the rest of England. Citadel after citadel has fallen back into line by electing a Conservative. We have Brexit to thank for bringing the country together.
For many years, The North has been terra incognita for true patriotic Englishmen. Huge swathes of cheap labour elected cheap Labour politicians to represent them, year after year. Even now there are still pockets of Woke unionised bunny-hugging equality lovers fighting a lost battle, in the deepest recesses of the grim and grimy cities. But the War is over, the Red Wall has been torn down, and True Blue patriotism has returned to the Northern marches.
Brexit was the magic bullet. The People wanted Brexit. Labour, out of step from the Will Of The People, lost what lingering relevance they once might have had. Besides The People are not stupid. They know that the only way they will get any extra money from a Tory government is to elect a Conservative.
One cannot pretend that times have been tough in The North. Besides the foul weather and bad accents, funds have been tight. Levelling up will help, but a pre-condition to receiving funds is the election of a sympathetic representative. There is no point allowing taxpayers’ money to be squandered on Woke Socialist rainbow lesbian gay single parents who refuse to keep their urges in check. We know that one of our own will channel funds to the correct locations, like an acceptably sized mansion with a private golf course.
One can then only hope the rain stops for long enough for nine holes before lunch, before sauntering over to the food bank for a quick photo-op.
If only Scotland would stop pandering to those ghastly nationalists who want to break away from the Union, then this country might, once again, become a green and pleasant land.
