The current squabbles with our friends and neighbours across the English Channel (NOT La Manche, please note) are so unnecessary. The French should simply get off their haut cheval and admit that the English are, as usual, correct.
Britannia rules the waves. This self-evident truth must be absorbed by the disrespectful, cheese-eating Froggies before this storm in a tasse de thé becomes a major diplomatic incident.
How dare the bike-riding stripy vested onion sellers try to seize a British, nay English, fishing boat on the flimsiest of pretexts! It is merely a case of shoddy formalités administratives and not a reason to provoke World War Three.
So a registration may not have been filed. So a boat may have inadvertently strayed out of supposed English waters. So what? This is not a reason to escalate a simple misunderstanding. As the garlic munchers know full well, our Imperial pre-eminence means that tous les eaux are overseen by the English, and our vessels have a God-given right to fish wherever they damn well please.
It is the French, and indeed European trait of intransigence that is to blame. The sooner that they understand that we are right, the sooner this will all be over. This is precisely why we patriotic Englishmen are obliged to SHOUT VERY LOUDLY AND SLOWLY at the stubborn and uneducated foreigner in order that they may understand. There is no need to faire un montagne d’une taupinière after all.
The solution is simple. The surrender monkeys must issue an apology forthwith, promise to never, never act so impertinently ever again, and of course release the English fishing boat. There will be no piscatorial martyrs made if they simply admit their error. C’est très facile. We do not wish to release les chiens de guerre on this occasion.
Liberté, égalité, fraternité. That is all that is required.
