Woke snowflakes are always trying to undermine our great British Prime Minister. They like to say that Boris is incompetent, a liar, has scruffy hair for goodness sake. This is unfair. He is clearly doing his best. To call him an international embarrassment is defeatist and unpatriotic.
Take his recent triumphant meeting with Sleepy Joe Biden. Despite the Sleepy tag, Biden is as Woke as they come. Here was a triumph of statesmanship. Boris talked Biden round, and round, and round, and extracted concessions at every stage. True, the trade deal he promised to bring home did not materialise, but these things take time. He can return home to a rapturous welcome simply for getting away with calling Biden by his first name in the Oval Office.
Boris is frequently berated by the Woke for the number of children he has fathered. This is jealousy, pure and simple. The fact is that Boris is even more generous with his seed than he is in other areas of his life.
Telling lies is not the same as making a mistake, as the Woke often think. Boris is the most honest man I know. It’s not his fault that sloppy research led to the infamous claim on the bus. It’s not his fault that he gets stressed in PMQs and makes up a figure on the spot out of panic. It’s not his fault that someone told him about 40 new hospitals and 20,000 new police and 50,000 new nurses and 172 new trade deals and he didn’t catch all the detail.
As for the hair, the Woke would have us all in Communist era haircuts in a heartbeat. Thank your lucky stars that our Prime Minister proudly boasts a magnificent, virile thatch that puts most middle-aged balding men to shame.
And of course he is up to the job. Almost too much, so he has to dumb down to try to understand what is expected of him. If anything, the job is not up to scratch.
Boris is a national treasure. He is our very own two-faced Zaphod Beeblebrox, and his real job is to draw attention away from power. He is doing a wonderful job.
