With the joy that followed our triumphant clean break from the EU comes opportunity. England is free, once again, to decide upon its own destiny. Finally the scourge of foreign HGV drivers has been removed from our hallowed motorways. No longer will we live in fear of 40 tons of metal hurtling down the wrong carriageway, bringing rabies and uncouth languages.
Instead, thousands of English workers are able to step into this thankful void. English men will be able to deliver English produce, like pizza and Prosecco, to English shops. The EU workers cleared off faster than we could have expected – showing their classic lack of resilience – meaning English drivers must be fast-tracked into their place. The relaxing of the over-stringent qualifications is to be welcomed, but they do not go far enough. These days, an HGV practically drives itself. Therefore, anyone who has managed to pass their cycling proficiency test is sufficiently qualified to drive English lorries on English roads.
The moaning Woke EU lovers will complain, as they always do. They are obsessed with the nannying of the Health & Safety Executive (which, we note, must be disbanded as soon as possible). These doom and gloom merchants predict more accidents. Maybe, but this is a small price to pay to ensure that our English bananas and avocados reach our tables in a timely fashion. Anyone can back their bicycle into a tight space. How much harder can it be with an HGV? It’s exactly the same principle, after all.
Besides, it’s too late to complain. In England, we face adversity with a firm determination and a can-do attitude. In England, we do not pander to the naysayers. The Blitz Spirit will always see us through. It was good enough to get us through The War, and it is good enough to overcome current circumstances.
Remember, you voted for this.
