It is almost that time in the cosmic cycle of the Prime Minister when he must choose a new mate. Just as the Ancient Greek God Zeus took a new form each time he pursued a new object of desire, so must our modern day ruler of the British Pantheon. Currently Mr Johnson pads about wheezing as a British bulldog, perhaps next he should choose something more athletic? Perhaps a British lion. Who then to chase?
It is obvious the choice of a new partner will have electoral repercussions. Only a fool would ignore the votes to be gained, or lost, from choosing the wrong next First Lady of Downing Street. The refurbishment of the No 11 flat alone can make or break the premiership. Who will tart up the nest next?
Here Boris Johnson can learn from his own success dismantling the once impenetrable “Red Wall”.
Would an openly privately educated graduate of Oxbridge have achieved what our modern day Mr Dawes did in 2019? A man so obviously part of the London elite would not have triumphed. Admittedly Mr Johnson had the help (it is rumoured) of Dick Van Dyke in perfecting his working class accent. That was money well spent, whichever donor paid for it.
Now he faces the silver fork in the road again. Clearly at his advancing age he can not linger long with a woman already into her thirties. He must move on. He still has a wild oat or two to sow. He must reinvent himself once more. He must have a partner with sufficient spare energy to power his sagging Zepplin of state.
“Boris Johnson is a shapeshifting creep” – Anon and on, 2020.
UnoTesticular is adamant that the Prime Minister must choose a northern lass. A working class girl from some slum Labour has let fester since 2010. A bit of rough. A bit of orright. A busty barmaid. A likely lass. A woman who does not wear a coat while stealing outside the pub for a smoke midwinter.
Only a northern, handsome lass will do if the Prime Minister would hold onto the seats he tore from the soft hands of the posh old boys that are Labour. A woman who will charm the nation the moment she steps up to the No 10 Downing Street podium and says “There’s nowt like a proper brew”.
