Anyone paying any attention at all to the inside of their rectum knows that Christmas is in grave danger of being cancelled by the legions of the Woke. They will stop at nothing to stop good Christian Britons from celebrating the successful quest for asylum by two Middle Eastern refugees, while at the same time barricading the doors of the RNLI along the eastern coast of England.
The government sees the risk to Christmas and has acted early, albeit after causing the largely supply chain based risk initially. The supermarkets have done their part by filling their empty shelves with tinsel and mince pies from early autumn, only the official opposition has failed to weigh in to save Christmas.
To see the lack of commitment to mass turkey slaughter by Starmer and his rabble you just have to look at his latest, desperate cabinet reshuffle. You will find Yvette Cooper pitted against Priti Patel now? As if the staff working for the Home Secretary have not suffered enough. Now they will have to put up with even greater distemper from their boss. Not exactly woke is it. And Lammy? Truss will barely notice him as she’ll be too busy arranging the folds of her flags for another publicly funded, reality crushing publicity stunt.
You see the flaws in Starmer’s thinking right there. Had he appointed a Shadow Secretary of State for Saving Christmas he may have made inroads. But he has not. This tells you all you need to know about the man and how he would govern. Competence over spectacle will not make a success of Brexit. Only saving Christmas by making it a year long festival will see mighty Global Britain succeed in the global war against the crazed bunny huggers and yoghurt knitters.
Mr Johnson will just have to save Christmas on his own, again, and leave Starmer open mouthed as Boxing Day gives way to the transformation of the 12 days of Christmas to the 365 days we know shows we are a well governed, normal and healthy democracy.
