We love Europe, but loathe the petty tinpot failed empire that is the EU. It is a vindication of our glorious Brexit that the EU is slowly failing while England goes from strength to strength. Unfortunately, as an act of spiteful revenge, it has seen fit to impose a barrage of red tape upon its superiors.
Normally England and the English would ignore this pathetic foot stamping. In the past, England would have simply invaded, conquered the garlic munchers, installed an English puppet King like Louis XIV on the French throne, and sailed home with as much duty-free vin rouge as they could carry.
However, these days England has been enfeebled by years of shameful EU membership and malicious Wokery. And the rest of the world, like our so-called allies in America, would interfere and take over immediately, rather than several years later like they did in the last War. You can guarantee that some traitor on the front line would be spending his time live tweeting and not fighting on the beaches as he should.
Instead the wheels of diplomacy must turn. And to lubricate the wheels our phenomenally talented ministers must be fed and watered with caviar and champagne. To permit these essential elements of every top level work meeting to get through the undemocratic red tape, the French must create a VIP lane for these items immediately.
For it is indeed the French, our oldest and most enduring foe, at fault here. Had they allowed Sir Winston Churchill to take control of the European project, instead of Jacques Cousteau, or whoever it was, all this unpleasantness could have been avoided. England would have been in her natural role as ruler of all the other countries. Instead, the French, in their arrogance, decided a foreigner would be better. It was never going to work, and Brexit was the inevitable end of a failed experiment.
