The Woke are at the gates. The sacred temple of Margaret is at risk of being burnt to the ground by the savage hordes who do not understand tax efficient financial management, and would prefer instead, it is safe to assume, that people are fed instead. So much for the priorities of the yoghurt knitters and tree huggers. The shock by election results in Tiverton and that other place we needed in 2019 must not force Boris Johnson to change his character. Now is the time to stay the course charted in the backrooms and the smoky saloons of power.
What has Boris Johnson always offered but a lovely day tomorrow. How then is yesterday anything but a spur to offer an even greater new dawn when tomorrow births itself in golden splendour. People need hope. No one needs hope more than the Conservative Party. Boris Johnson must be that shining talisman that infects them all with optimism they can transmit via client media to the population. Just infecting them. Just like they did essentially in the pandemic by the sensible prioritising of wealth creation over public safety. That was indeed a promise of a lovely day tomorrow fulfilled. Just ask anyone who bought a Tory MP a beer in the last twenty years. The cash poured in.
Now Mr Johnson must work his magic again, in our darkest hour. He must promise not only a Garden Bridge, but a bridge between Scotland and Ireland again. And a monorail in every town in Blighty. And the return of Calais to the Crown. It is in his gift to offer everything the wavering voter needs in place of affordable food, affordable energy and a climate worth breathing in the future.
Let not the lies and the missrule bring to an end a feeding frenzy of the public purse that has been the very epitome of what modern Conservatism is all about.
Promise that bridge again today Mr Prime Minister. The feasibility studies alone will enrich many friends. And besides, if any more Tory MPs resign in sex based scandals you may need to run right across and into sanctuary in Ireland. That green and pleasant land loves a good Tory! Huzzah!