Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. The famous words of Michael Portillo have never been more pungent. For the famous rail navigator they were in response to once again attempting to begin a train journey in the early 2000’s on Southern Rail. An avoidance lesson he should have learned the first five times. Few have successfully started a rail journey across Patagonia on the 10:04 Clapham Junction to El Chaltén without a lengthy wait on a windswept platform.
And it is on the windswept platform of destination despair that we find the beleaguered Labour leader Sir Keir Starmer this morning. To be fair to Keir, he has continued many of the deeply thought through electoral strategies of his predecessor. He has attempted to be a man for all seasons while only experiencing winter. He has fought like a lion to validate Brexit as a political project. Just like Mr Corbyn. It is surprising to all that Tory voters and other bigots did not rush to the Labour banner when they draped themselves in the sparkling cloth of Tory ideology. Bafflingly it seems only to have created confusion and eventually apathy.
What to do now? Post the elections in England? With a dominant SNP cutting at the very cloth of the Union’s fabric. If the people of Hartlepool can blame Labour for the food banks of the town than the people of Herdfootshire can blame Keir for Boris Johnson’s approach to Scotland.
Bigger flags you say? Certainly. Bigger Union Jacks behind the Labour leader can only help. The Red Wall will take note. Perhaps a phrase like “genuine concerns about immigration” repeated, and on merchandising. That will bring him a lot of attention. If he wants to rule he will have to park his tanks on Boris Johnson’s lawn, so festooned with the discarded knickers of truth. He will have to start a war with France. Every Englishman will see he is fit to lead us into the 19th century then. Imagine the tabloid orgy of acclaim?
It would be easy to start a war with France. All he needs to do is locate a local political strongman in Normandy and promise them the Labour leadership when he is gone. After that he pretends to have expired and another English MP takes over Labour. It is guaranteed that the French politician will be so incensed by this broken promise that he will invade England. Most likely somewhere around Hastings. The rest will take care of itself.
The only other option is to raise high the standard of truth. Faced with a government that is all lies the official opposition could try being all truth. They have not tried that since 24/06/16. They may even unite the broad and disparate woke forces of the land if they did. Once more unto the truth dear friends! But it would only please the loony left, so let’s hope he does not try that. Let’s hope he goes for war with France and watch the Red Wall come running back.
