The only thing that matters in British political life is the survival of the Conservative and Unionist Party. It is a sacred mission into which countless generations of Britons have invested their energies, the sacred baton which beats the poor and downtrodden passed from the aged hand to the youthful fist time and time again. Keep them on their knees but keep them working. But such a holy endeavour does not pay for itself. Anyone with a basic understanding of economics is aware of that.
Of recent years the Russian ruling class have invested mightily into the UK’s political class and enjoyed the benefits of the money cleansing services of the London financial district as a reward. So too Brexit of course, and the way in which destroying ourselves has self-evidentially led to the demolition of the EU. Any day now. You just wait. Mr Putin will thank you for your services in exchange for millions invested into the Conservatives.
But now it seems Mr Putin has gotten himself into a spot of bother by deciding that murdering innocents in the state next to his on a large scale is a worthy enterprise. This is not good for his brand and it’s potentially sticky for the Conservatives who govern Britannia, unchained or not.
Will it be possible to continue to take donations from Kremlin linked figures even while war is waged against Ukraine? It is important that Mr Johnson’s government focus test to find out. Sadly though it is also likely time to move on from the Russians and find someone else to shove dirty money into British pockets.
Here Mr Johnson can make great strides with a tour of the world’s other kleptocracies. There must be another regime with too much cash and time on its hands that would like to buy itself credibility by association with mighty Britannia’s skirts.
And if they want what we can offer in reputation and financial laundering they’ll have to pay for our blind eyes.
And we might get lucky in multiples. Not only will the Conservatives ensure a lucrative future funding stream, the next regime may wish to build on Brexit. They may have great ideas of how we can further inflict self-harm on ourselves while enriching our betters.
Perhaps we can return fully to a feudal state? We’ve made great strides already! Food banks and mass death from preventable illness. One rule for the rich and powerful and a very different rule for the rest. Let’s put ourselves about the place and see who bites. Global Britain is only just unchained. There must be another dictator who wants to ride us bare chested like a face-lifted oligarch on a bear.
