The mood in the Conservative Party is restless. It’s seems the magic of Mr Johnson is fading and it is time for the ritual slaughter and sacrifice of the Tory leader. This is part of the natural fabric of our great country and is not a time of sorrow, but a time of rejoicing. Bring out the fatted lamb and stake it near the blazing pyre. Circle and sing. Look to the heavens and wait for the sign in the sky. The old must make way for the new, so the new can preserve the God given right of the old to rule this land unopposed and milk it dry.
Who will succeed Mr Johnson once his cold political body is wheeled for the last time into the great walk-in fridge from whence he governed so well for the donors? Clearly Dominic Raab is a possibility. The ancient spirit which controls his mind by way of the throbbing right temple vein must believe now is its time. Also Jacob Rees-mogg, having endured centuries of reanimation and resurrection, maybe now Nosferatu will shine. Or Liz Truss, an innocent abroad, she could cheer up everyone with her beaming smile and carnal intentions for the Union Flag?
Rishi Sunak will not succeed to the throne. He is too short and to rule the Tory Party you need to be top dog in the dog pack. He will produce some flashy brochures and maybe a swimsuit calendar, but he does not have the physical presence to frighten the yapping pack into line. He will also have to carry the can for Brexit and the tragic economic illiteracy that powers the lethal pandemic response. He will be out with old Bojo. Sacrificed so the Party can say all that is behind us now, now we are renewed.
No. There is only one Conservative MP with the qualities needed to drive the project forward into the next phase. Priti Patel’s time has come to govern in the interests of God only knows who. The country is in crisis and we need a strong woman to put it over her knee and smack ten types of shit out of it.
No one else has the charm of Mr Johnson and whoever succeeds him into 10 Downing Street will need to be able to bedazzle the electorate as powerfully as he once did. Charisma is needed and it is needed in 50ft high posters hung all around the land. Priti Patel and her winning smile will tell the electorate that all is well in hand. No one will dare say otherwsie.
