Now is the testing time. Now is the time for Britons to set their teeth on edge, to gird their lions, to ruffle up their feathers and tattoo “HOLD FAST” across their knuckles. Now is the time to put down the revolting peasants and forge a new world here in Britannia. A world that resembles in every way possible the vanished halcyon of the 13th Century.
If we are to become the free trading superpower again we need a leader with an appetite for what is required. We need a leader who understands the myths the party of government lives and breathes. We need a leader who can see a historic photograph and do their utmost to recreate it. Recreate it so blatantly no one will know where to look.
There are two who vie for the throne, even as the debauched haystack grips the golden arms, fat fingers curled around the little lion faces that adorn the mighty chair of state. He is just keeping the cushion warm and will be removed as soon as the struggle to succeed him is over.
What King Boris leaves behind is most determinedly an apocalyptic scene. He has done his job well, for his various paymasters. Where would the profits of private water companies be now without polio once again in our waters? Where would the skyrocketing dividends of those who sensibly invested in the nation’s fossilised past be without Old Bojo? The NHS dissembling before our eyes. Champagne and Italian shoes once again the preserve of the born to rule. Yes. The King has done the deeds required of him, now let’s bury him and put up a monument. It is time for a new reign.
There are two left who vie for the throne. Empress Truss seems destined now to rule, for a while, until Brexit devours her too. This is the way of it. A brief moment in the sun while the dark creatures feed on the corpse of the nation. In the shadows the real work is done. No one can tell you why the ageing men who make up the small, self-selected sect who choose our PM’s prefer a woman cosplaying Maggie over a small man in a nice suit who spends too much time on his hair. But there you have it. The mysteries of mankind.
It must be Truss, when all is said and done. Mostly because Sunak is not a drinker and only an idiot would think they can govern this United Kingdom sober.
