Only a fool believes the Chancellor of the Exchequer should have a firm grasp of economic theory, at least so far as it diverges from ideology and into the grubby secular. Only an idiot would expect the occupant of No. 11 Downing Street to be more focused on how his decisions hurt or heal the most vulnerable, and not when he can measure up the curtains of No. 10.
The job of the Chancellor is to provide someone close for the PM to fight with and create the spectacle of dynamic power. This is what the governed want to see. In fact they need to see two dogs fighting over control of the pack lest they grow worried that the strongest and best of them all may not be ruling them.
Rishi Sunak has been perfectly chosen for his role and plays the part supremely. Indeed, with hair that good, with suits that expensive, with a smile that fixed one would not expect to see him loitering at the edge of the political stage with nothing to do but exist.
It seems natural now that Mr Sunak will succeed to the office of Prime Minister, once Mr Johnson eventually grows bored and wonders off to pursue his hobbies, such as shagging and collecting hi-vis clothing. The only obstacle visible that might stop Mr Sunak climbing the last peak in British political life is his failure to understand money.
Money is funny to the Chancellor, as it should be. It is unbecoming to expect a man born with more gold than he can eat to see it as a serious concern. Should he spend his days counting it to ensure he has enough? What a waste of his valuable time. Time much better spent counting your money and how to relieve you of it lest the tax havens tremble at the sound of approaching food banks.
No. All the Chancellor need do is borrow the PM’s hairdresser, preferably while he sleeps. Mr Johnson convinced an entire country he was a natural leader by arsing about with mussed up hair. What’s good for the gander is good for the goose. Just have someone knock a few of those keenly lacquered strands out of place Mr Sunak and the British people will believe you are one of them. After that they’ll be so distracted by talking about what happened to your hair that robbing them blind, stripping them of birth rights and stabbing everyone around you in the back will seem like all in a day’s work.
