It is a common enough experience nowadays, to awaken in Brexitannia and feel that today could only be better than yesterday. Today is such a day. Clearly it was time for the Prime Minister to shuffle the deck. To send some of the Secretaries of State, overburdened with law suits, to the back benches and let the stink they give off dissipate. And for others it was a well deserved opportunity to take on new challenges to beat the country into a shape that resembles the PM’s 3am intoxicated visions.
Foreign Secretary Liz Truss is just the sort of heavy hitter (of the photocopier) that the UK needs. Her work cutting and pasting EU deals, then weakening our hand, before signing them off was a tour de force in style over substance. She only needs to be able to read an Atlas to surpass the efforts of her predecessor at the FCO. Dominic Raab, the Man Who Discovered Dover. He takes his keen intellect and razor like grasp of nuanced complexity to Justice. I’m sure he will create just the kind of impact needed there to be labelled deep.
The reason for the shuffle was obvious. Starving the poor can only hold a government high in the polls for so long. Ensuring every school child has the chance to catch, and importantly, to pass on the virus is also worthy of 10 points alone. It’s no surprise Patel stays in post. Who else would have the blood lust she shows? The jet ski racists need someone behind them screaming “DROWN THEM ALL!” to really feel happy at work. Truss has been the stand out star in internal Tory polling. Let us raise that beacon of high endeavour to the clouds and shout “Hallelujah!”
The world will see exactly what kind of a country we are now that Ms Truss is on the end of the phone when they call. And if they fail to call, she can always try phoning them.
“Hello EU, it’s Liz Truss calling, you may remember me from such hits as posing with a Union Flag umbrella in front of Sydney Harbour? Let’s talk about that minor nuclear exchange in the Far East. I’m all ears. What do you think we should do about it? Hello? EU? Hello? Well, please email over whatever you’re thinking when you’ve a moment so I can cut, paste and make a little change to it.”
