We all know that young immune systems need training, and the poorer you are the more rigorous the training needs to be. It is to be praised that the former Health Secretary Matt “Woke” Cock has now been replaced by the experienced investment banker Sajid “Rand” Javid.
It is to be acknowledged that many parents have had to sacrifice a lot during the pandemic. I personally had to homeschool Eugeniwia after her tutor scandalously refused to catch the Kent variant. And I still shudder to recall the time I actually had to enter a supermarket when our maid, who used to keep the larder well stocked, found herself on a ventilator. The misfortunes of the pandemic have impacted on us all in ways we never anticipated. I fear I will never recover from the half an hour I spent walking the aisles searching for truffle oil, the ferryman himself certain to have been stalking my footsteps.
So it is to be praised that Mr Johnson’s latest human shield is determined to prevent a repetition of these calamities. You can have all the Cygnus reports you like but if tomorrow’s help are not match fit you will find yourself doomed to drive to a Waitrose personally, or heaven forbid, a Tesco!
Let us raise our eyes to the heavens for a moment and whisper a prayer of gratitude. Mr Javid has the backing of the CRG, and they in their part have the backing of all four horsemen of any apocalypse. Now let the dogs of plague run with havoc amongst the born to serve! Let them all catch this virus and be done with it! Sort the wheat from the chaff and a better loaf we will have for it.
To choose a path of elimination would be a crime against various profit and loss forecasts. But to let the poor children catch the virus now? That will give them a wealth of immune strength riches unheard of before now. And the next time a flu like strain stalks the land you can be confident you won’t find yourself puzzled by fronted adverbials and a child you’d expected to barely recognise, if only their tutor had the mettle to deal with a sniffle without calling in sick from a hospital bed.
