Great matters of international statecraft can only be successfully navigated with a clenched eye for detail and a clear fist of foresight. Where British statecraft is concerned it has long been known that excessive drinking by the Executive is the best way to progress. You won’t reach the state of in vino veritas as a tofu eating, bunny hugging, green tea drinker.
How will you know what you really want to achieve with a head full of boring information and no spirits? It seems likely the woke pressure on the Prime Minister to swear off alcohol until after the birth of child number CCXVII is a contributing factor for his failure on Afghanistan. At least the looming Johnson issue can be reassured that once it has entered the world its father will be blathered again and jolly good fun.
Many would say it is all very well to have great minds of the calibre of Raab and Patel to call on, but if you’re not completely hammered how would make sense of what they are saying?
Locating Raab is difficult enough at the best of times. When you do find the luxury villa he has escaped to you best find him in good humour. Not the dour face of sobriety. He has sufficient trouble trying to work out if his left hand knows what his right hand is doing as it is.
The Prime Minister’s failings over Afghanistan are certain to be a blip in an otherwise fine record of refurbishing the United Kingdom’s global reputation. After all, we were only doing what the Americans did. No one expects us to show independence of thought. Not when there are such impressive US financial interests invested in the success of Brexitannia.
Now just take a moment to imagine how Keir Starmer and his woke brigade would have handled Afghanistan? Would they have done it refreshed from a well earned seaside stay? Or would they have been so bogged down in detail and anticipation of what was to come that the UK would have been made to look like girly swots next to the USA’s blithe rush to leave? After all, there is only twenty years of experience in the country to draw on. Much like there were only five decades of entanglement with the EU to guide the future after that rupture.
We have left Afghanistan in the way we left the European Union. The good people of that abandoned country just have to believe in their future. If that is good enough for Brexit Britain it’s good enough for them. After all, we’re British. And indeed, the United Kingdom has the government it deserves. Afghanistan can also be said to now have the British government the British people deserved.
