Boris Johnson’s work is done. This much is obvious. He is to be thanked and applauded for the chaos he has created, this has allowed the state’s coffers to be looted as successfully as a previously unknown land discovered by Great Britain in the 18th or 19th century. Now it is time for him to accept the gold watch and move on. Perhaps he can spend more time with his families, this is for him to decide. More time in the mountains of Italy in the company of some of his prized donors maybe more to his choosing. It is of no importance. Who leads Britain next is the only question now.
The usual tired old names will be trotted out in the coming weeks. The lovers of personal photography, Truss and Sunak, they will vie for the keys to 10 Downing Street. But they are plainly idiots, useful ones, but idiots. Great Britain’s next leap in the vacuum of total sovereignty requires a deeper intellect.
Gove could have done it, but he signed himself out with a midlife crisis too early. For the first time in his stellar career the comet blazed too soon.
What of Nadine Dorries you ask? The Tory membership love her. She could fill the clown shoes but unfortunately she is currently in treatment after stabbing herself in the face with a fork while eating. Just spoons for Nadine from now on. Just spoons.
Patel? Well. You can well imagine her in her quiet hours musing over how deeply she could persecute the vulnerable if only she were in 10 Downing Street. It is not going to happen. The PM needs to be able to conceal their vicious streak. Ms Patel is all streak. There is no way to hide her tyranny. She is best as Satan’s right hand man and not the devil himself.
Now we turn to the only obvious candidate. Someone who is not of the elite. A man of the people with the common touch. Mark Francois. He had to hide away for months recently. No one knew why. It was a mystery. Happily nothing came of it. Which was not a total surprise. Such is the size of the worm in the rotting wood of the British establishment.
Mr Francois has re-emerged at the right moment. He has come brandishing a work of scholarly gigantism not seen for many decades. He is the silkworm that has finished its concealment in the cocoon and broken out as a butterfly. The grub has grown up.
Only Mark has the depth of intellectualism and gravitas needed to assert Great Britain on the world stage. We will lead the world as is our right. We must choose a beaming face that typifies all that has happened to the country since 2010. But only if the Tory Party choose a candidate with the exact stature required to symbolise Brexitannia.
