Any water with a British poo in it becomes sovereignty’s sacred spring

Any water with a British poo in it becomes sovereignty’s sacred spring

How did Great Britain come to be the most powerful nation under God? That is the first question on the lips of all oak saplings risen from the warm soil of this most favoured nation. The answers are obvious but that doesn’t mean they don’t need repetition. The wily Continental is always seeking to undermine our youth with offers of unity and possibilities of strong fraternity across borders. To daily remind ourselves we are the exceptional people is to daily vaccinate against the germs of unity. You don’t rule by being friends.

The deepening desperation of Brussels is evident in its puritanical approach to water quality. It is how they momentarily blinded Britons to their own greatness. All those pesky and unnecessary rules and standards. You do not forge a new path for a nation by fretting over the scatological percentage of tap water. What a petty and perturbed nanny state they temporarily made of us.

No more! Thanks to Brexit a British lion may now stride to the sun drenched banks of a British waterway, turn about face and defecate as nature intended. Natural waterways do not flow because they are not nature’s toilets. Britons know this. Tory MPs know it better than all.

Now the lion may roar as he births possibilities from the un-puckered starfish of freedom. His mane puffed up by independence, his tail pert and as stiff as any flagpole as the indomitable dollops of freedom splash into the water he now rules alone. No one can stop him. The dull rule book wrote by puritanical, foreign bores is now firmly thrown into the British lavatory, pushed determinedly around the S bend by the fat, scat encrusted end of a Great British brush! Take that Brussels!

Think this weekend as you walk your hounds and dogs of war along British waterways that those waters are now tinged with possibilities previously blocked by the EU.

No action tells the world we are once more a fully sovereign, free trading global powerhouse open for any business you like than our own sewerage discharging hourly into our own streams. If we can do that today just think what we will do with tomorrow.

The water is not polluted by our crap. Far from it. It is British crap. This is a magical reagent which magically transforms any pool or stream it is submerged in into sovereignty’s sacred spring. Be sure to raise a clenched, defiant fist and cry freedom as you watch the sausages surge in your streams.

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