If the PM’s former mistress does not launch the new Royal Yacht the Woke have won

If the PM’s former mistress does not launch the new Royal Yacht the Woke have won

The Woke only exist to talk their betters down. It’s what they do. They will not be happy until everyone is as miserable as they are with their rough chopped carrot curries and handwoven GM free muesli vests. For the madness of political correctness to break all the glass ceilings that have made Britain Great. But there is a way to defeat the Brussels enthralled, Antifa-Marxist insurgents with one blow.

That blow will be struck with both bows of the new £200m Royal Yacht. The sterns too if required and both starboards if the Woke refuse to stay on the mat to see out the count facedown in their spittle and our sawdust (*supplied by a donor or friend of a serving cabinet minister via shell companies registered weekly in the Caymans or Channel Islands **contracts fo contain no penalty clauses ***actual quality of sawdust supplied to be of no consequence ****payment to be non-dependent on supply of sawdust and made in full via bank transfer on day of signing).

Imagine the Woke’s cut price woad smeared faces when they gather with tired placards protesting about starving children and rampant state corruption and see on giant screens the Prime Minister’s former mistress about to swing a magnum of Bollie? Boudicca herself risen from the ashes of history to launch HMS First Lady from the slipway of Brexitannia into the Mariana Trench?

Dumbfounded.

Rendered mute.

The culture war won and our internal enemies sundered in one mighty blow. Andrew Neil can broadcast a special show focused on the event from his prison in France. Narrow that focus on as their mind palace strongholds are razed and the stone robbed away in broad daylight.

Now, critics may cry that a ship on the scale of the one proposed takes a long time to make. What if the Prime Minister’s former mistress has joined his bulging ex-wives’ club by that time?

The answer is simple. We merely call upon whoever he is shagging at the time and bestow the honour of landing the killing blow.

We must proclaim our values to the world and wait for the archangels of Brexit to part the clouds, plunge the trumpets of success in between their parted buttocks and blow out the song of success! We must launch the new Royal Yacht in a style befitting what we now accept as our moral standards. The world must watch and know it.

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