Only a political party of strong and stable government would be dangling in front of the Great British public the prospect of a fourth Prime Minister within seven years. The Woke would not do that. They would be handwringing over NHS waiting lists and people freezing to death, displaying their famed ignorance of what power is for. Only the Conservative and Unionist Party knows that power alone is all it is worth fighting for. You can’t take a legacy of healthy public services into the afterlife, but you can buy indulgences to see you right in the next life. Power equals money. The Tories alone understand what is important. Tory Valhalla awaits the brave and it is exceptionally tax efficient.
Now we come to the end of the current chapter in Great British governance. While the French have not the heart to start again and tarry on with Macron, we here on Blighty have the vigour and daring needed to slaughter the fatted pig and raise a squealing piglet high. The pig is dead! Long live the piglet! The pig is dead! Long live the piglet!
Porcine talk brings to mind David Cameron. He lit the match paper on Brexit, Theresa May poured in the petrol (mercifully at a time when petrochemicals were cheaper), but Boris Johnson was the one who set up a gargantuan fan and blew in the titanic quantity of oxygen required to set the entire United Kingdom ablaze. What a man! What an achievement!
He got the big calls right.
Who else would have had the backbone to ditch a cancer ridden wife for a younger mistress? The front needed to move her into 10 Downing Street. She’s a founding member of The Conservative Friends of Russia, no less. An organisation now quietly disbanded, although no one knows why. Who else would have delayed lockdowns in a pandemic to appease a tax haven dwelling media set? Only the Prime Minister had the nerve. And who else could have put their courage to the sticking place and torn up our trading relationships with the biggest single market on Earth on the vague hope of a deal with the Pacific? No woke, liberal, snowtard would have done that! Boris Johnson epitomises what modern Britain is for. It’s not for nothing that outsiders refer to London as Londongrad. Credit where credit is due.
Whatever happens tonight the country will be entertained. Bread and circuses are more than sufficient to cope with an out of the control train called the cost of living express. Let us hope the PM is triumphant. He can do it. He has so much more to do. There is the potential of a monkey pox pandemic. Can you imagine the riches to be gained in PPE during that? The first pandemic was just a warm up! No. Let us express our confidence in the Prime Minister and let him drag his haired knuckles across the golden Downing Street carpet for another day.
To win will be easy. He just has to phone enough backbench Tory MPs up and promise them a seat next to the band playing on the Titanic.
Picture it now, “Give me your full support and you can come inside to the burning bin and burn beside me.” Surely that’s too good a prospect to ignore. After all, most MPs will be looking for a career move from part-time lobbyist to full time. What better adornment for the CV than Junior Minister for Bottoming Out? Think of your own interests Conservatives. After all, it’s what you do best. It’s why you entered public service.
