The Woke will not get it. They will decry the turbulent and oh so extended fall of Boris Johnson as further sign that the modern British Conservative Party is as useful in government as their bigger American cousins across the pond. While the English ICU’s pulsate at capacity with people made ill by a virus given extra vigour by the swivel eyed British political climate, and the dark masters of our foreign owned press, what are the yoghurt knitters doing to help?
Nothing can be more democratic than a meritocracy. Right now we see that most exalted means of choosing our next governors running in top gear. As the hard right gobshite rags like the Telegraph and the Fashtator turn on the prince they once praised the would be replacements circle with knives in hand. They dart in and cut Mr Johnson’s corpulent and idiotic frame and then dash back into the shadows to watch the blood flow from the latest wound. What better way to support an exhausted ICU nurse you once clapped from your doorstep before breaking lockdown regulations with a party?
Yes, the rivers of England are full of shit, but what of it? Yes, the postal service is near collapse in many areas as focus remains on who will next redecorate 10 Downing Street? But what of that? Yes, our international clout may now have a pillow strapped to our bunched fists, the wrists tied together, our eyes blindfolded and our ankles chained together, but who cares? A loose cabal of American, Russian and Chinese billionaires paid a lot of money for that. British elites honour their deals. There’s a short list of very expensive decorators sitting by their phones with wallpaper samples in hand. Will the gold wallpaper stay or go? That is what matters most now.
This is British democracy at its finest. We ignore the petty details of the striving classes and focus solely on who will exercise total power over our elected representatives. Mr Johnson must be praised for modernising the way governance works in our country after the style of a Plantagenet. Not for us Brits the endless, boring debates of the Saxons. The back and forth of the Franks. The tedious good governance and wise spend of taxation of the Danes. We are British! And once again we will rule ourselves in the way our ancient Norman French masters did.
We must showcase our system to the world. Boris Johnson’s successor must immediately hold a garden party in 10 Downing Street to display confidence in their power over the starving classes in that moment. There must be no thought to tomorrow. They must seize the day and let all know they stand for strong, stable government and consistency. Anything less would be to undermine Brexit.
